Finding Our Own Style

One of the hardest things for me about becoming a parent has been filtering through the wealth of information to find what works for me. For example, new moms are encouraged to get out and see people, to ge involved in groups, and to socialize with other new moms. This is supposed to help the new mother with feelings of isolation. And I'm sure that it does.

However, I hate large groups of strangers. I forced myself to attend the mother/baby class at the hospital three or four times. And I learned some great information. I've watched my friend S. mother over the last year and she is always involved in something. She's an excellent mother and I tried to emulate her by attempting to "get involved". Which was when I came face to face with the reality that my friend is an extrovert in the extreme and I, well, I'm not. I like poeple. But I really don't like large groups-especially of people I don't know. I've had to really struggle to come to a place where that's okay for me in my new role as a mother.

I'm not exactly sure why I thought motherhood would change this particular personality trait but I did. Instead I've reconnected with an old friend who recently had a baby as well and we're meeting once a week to take a walk and talk. There are usually three of us and it's lovely. Yesterday I took the baby with me to a coffee house where we sat and I read a book and nursed him for awhile. Today, in stark contrast, I have holed up in the bedroom with the baby, a playmat, a burp rag, my book and my computer. I've turned off the phones and we're having a lovely afternoon-just the two of us. And it's perfect.

I've known for a lot of years now that I need a lot of down time to stay happy. And I'm finally figuring out how to find that as a mother too.

P.S. Thanks for Leather Furniture

Yesterday I was attempting to drink while breastfeeding and, typically of me, I forgot to swallow and then breathe. So I started choking and coughing, still valiantly trying to hold the baby, and ended up wetting my pants. Which made me laugh, which made me cough harder, which made me wet my pants. I holler for my husband, who can't understand what I'm saying with all the coughing and sputtering and laughing; and finally manage to make him understand that I need him to take the baby so I can clean up. I unlatch the baby, hand him off and begin attempting to clean the couch. Of course, by now, my milk had let down and was dripping everywhere I was trying to clean. I did get it all cleaned up and finished feeding the baby.

It was one of those moments when I realized that a lot of things about motherhood are weird and gross and hilarious.

And also that I'm so glad we have leather furniture.

And Jon, stop laughing.

How to Get Back in the Saddle in Just 30 Steps.

1. Heal posterior portions of anatomy.
2. Take brisk walk to test step one.
3. Return to step one and actually heal.
4. Test step one again by sitting on hard chair and wiggling.
5. Declare yourself ready and start telling friends and family that you're going to call the trainer.
6. Attempt to remember where you packed away your breeches.
7. Find the only pair of breeches without an elastic waistband. Look at your changed figure. Put breeches in back of closet and look for other breeches.
8. Research trainers online just in case you might want to make a change.
9. Take breeches back out of closet. Lay them on bed. Consider trying them on. Return them to closet.
10. Worry about childcare during your lesson. Have spouse reassure you that he will take the baby while you ride.
11. Look at breeches in back of closet. Look at waist. Laugh.
12. Drive to tack store to buy new breeches.
13. Read price tag of new breeches. Laugh. Resolve to find your other breeches.
14. Return home. Try on breeches.
15. Remember they used to zip. Wipe off tears and throw breeches in back of closet.
16. Sob all over spouse who has come running to see what is wrong that you are now too heavy to ride a horse.
17. Let spouse tell you that other adults ride horses all the time. Adults that weigh more than you currently do.
18. Spouse is an idiot and clearly doesn't know anything. Feel free to employ dramatic gesture.
19. Find other breeches in the box you checked first and thought you had searched thoroughly.
20. Put on breeches. Look in mirror.
21. Remind yourself that many people who weigh more than you ride horses every day.
22. Finally call trainer and schedule lesson.
23. Have panic attack at the thought of going out in public in breeches.
24. Offset panic attack with the thrill of going out in public without the baby.
25. Arrive at barn.
26. Tack up horse.
27. Walk horse to arena.
28. Return horse to barn to put on piece of tack you've forgotten.
29. Walk horse to arena. Look at mounting block and distance to saddle.
30. Fumble through mounting and finally manage to heave yourself into the saddle.

Success! You are ready for your first lesson post-baby!