Better Living Through Chemistry

I've shared a bit on this blog about my anxiety disorder and depression. Everyone handles things differently, but I've found medication to be of great assistance in keeping my life on an even keel. When I first began talking about having a baby both my obgyn and my psychiatrist told me I would need to quit taking my medication. This was very upsetting for me and I began doing research. I decided that, for me, the risk of stopping my meds was greater than the risk to the baby of continuing them. After all, you can't have a baby if you've committed suicide. Thus, I began shopping for new doctors. And I've found them. I have a very supportive team of midwives, and, more importantly, a new psychiatrist who specializes in pre and post natal care. About six weeks ago, my anxiety got much worse. It was so bad that I spent most of the day sitting very still and trying not to have hysterics. We upped my current medication but I was still having problems sleeping and with anxiety. We then added a second medication which was supposed to help me sleep at night and help with the anxiety during the day. And it has helped with the anxiety. However, I'm still only sleeping two or three hours at a time. If I can get a solid hour stretch I'm in heaven (this from someone who usually needs eight or ten hours just to feel human!). I'm going to try a higher dose of the new medication for the next few weeks and then we'll talk about adding something else for sleep. In the meantime, at least my anxiety is SO much better. I'm alert and interested in the world again which is fantastic. I'm getting some work done around the house, and I'm excited about having a baby again. I lost that for awhlie when I was anxious and depressed. And at least I know that we have a plan to get me some sleep, even if it's not for another few weeks. On the bright side, one of my biggest worries about having a newborn was dealing with the lack of sleep and I've proven to myself that I can handle it. It may not be particularly graceful or pretty, but I CAN do it.

I'm certainly not advocating medication during pregnancy for everyone; but I hope that if you have symptoms which are interfering with your life, then you'll find a good doctor and get help.