Finding Our Own Style

One of the hardest things for me about becoming a parent has been filtering through the wealth of information to find what works for me. For example, new moms are encouraged to get out and see people, to ge involved in groups, and to socialize with other new moms. This is supposed to help the new mother with feelings of isolation. And I'm sure that it does.

However, I hate large groups of strangers. I forced myself to attend the mother/baby class at the hospital three or four times. And I learned some great information. I've watched my friend S. mother over the last year and she is always involved in something. She's an excellent mother and I tried to emulate her by attempting to "get involved". Which was when I came face to face with the reality that my friend is an extrovert in the extreme and I, well, I'm not. I like poeple. But I really don't like large groups-especially of people I don't know. I've had to really struggle to come to a place where that's okay for me in my new role as a mother.

I'm not exactly sure why I thought motherhood would change this particular personality trait but I did. Instead I've reconnected with an old friend who recently had a baby as well and we're meeting once a week to take a walk and talk. There are usually three of us and it's lovely. Yesterday I took the baby with me to a coffee house where we sat and I read a book and nursed him for awhile. Today, in stark contrast, I have holed up in the bedroom with the baby, a playmat, a burp rag, my book and my computer. I've turned off the phones and we're having a lovely afternoon-just the two of us. And it's perfect.

I've known for a lot of years now that I need a lot of down time to stay happy. And I'm finally figuring out how to find that as a mother too.