The Heartache and The Joy

First of all The Joy: We had our first ultrasound yesterday at eight weeks. It was early for a first one, but I've had a miscarriage before and I experienced some bleeding last week, so we wanted to be sure that everything was OK. And it turns out, I'm growing a person. With a spine, and a heartbeat, and a tiny little umbilical cord! YAY! So that was exciting and I'm feeling a bit better about the baby thing. Of course, I still get incredibly nauseous several times a day where I feel like my throat is suddenly three sizes too small and a small hairy hand is trying to crawl up it. Yes, it's as uncomfortable as it sounds. I've found a few things that help but I think it's just sort of my life at the moment. Also, the constipation continues. Oy, does it continue. Enough said. My heartbeat is different too which has been weird to adjust to. And my new bosom? That beautiful new bosom that I've been looking forward to my whole life? It tries to strangle me at least once a night. I'm a stomach-sleeper and at least once per night I wake up with my new bosom crushing my jugular veins. Apparently people with generous bosoms are either not stomach-sleepers or they know something I don't.

Now, The Heartache:

I was reading craigslist and came across an ad for Wanda. Yup, her new owner has her up for sale. And I'm disappointed of course because I really thought I'd found her a longer term home than this. But I'm mostly pissed as hell at the way they're selling her. She's NOT being marketed as a broodmare only. She and her daughter have been riding her-only a few times so far but it makes me concerned. She's advertised as being not spooky and good on roads. Internet, it took me two months to be able to ride her down the driveway at the new barn. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad she's not spooking for them or throwing this little girl off, but "good on roads" says a very different thing than I think her seller realizes. Also, they listed the price I originally bought her for which is no one's business but mine. AND they say she'll require chiropractic care to keep sound. Internet, she's not going to get any better. We can manage the pain of arthritis but we cannot heal it at this time. The seller also listed the prices of her two previous foals. I have no idea where she got those numbers. I do remember telling her the listed price at the time of one of her foals, which I thought was fine since anyone doing basic research could find that info; but I didn't have these numbers to give her. Oh yeah, and they had her age wrong.

Wanda's original breeder contacted me to see if I knew this was going on. I'd seen the ad this weekend and was trying to think of how to word an email regarding the misinformation in the ad. My first reaction upon reading the ad was to find someone with a trailer and go get my baby. But I knew that wasn't the best option for me. However, after I talked to Wanda's breeder I called the owner right away. The breeder told me and her owner confirmed that since they have owned her she's broken several halters pulling back (yes, the owner admits that even though I TOLD them explicitly "THIS MARE PULLS BACK WHEN TIED AND NEEDS SUPERVISION, ESPECIALLY WHEN NOT IN CROSS TIES", they've been tying her in a single tie to trees and trailers and stuff), she's flipped over backwards TWICE as they tried to load her in trailers (now, she doesn't particularly like trailers but if you put a chain on her halter and let her look it over she loads-I've never had her go over backwards doing this), she's colicked (which to be fair isn't their fault-a neighbor threw cut grass over the fence), and she's been in a fight and required stitches. While I was talking to the owner she told me that when they're taking her for turn-out she's good one day and the next she rears and the following day she's fine again. Her breeder told me the new owner was saying that the mare's ground manners are terrible. They've never been great, but it sounds like they've gotten worse. When I was talking to her current owner she shared that they sent the mare to be live bred pretty much as soon as the bought her and she wouldn't stand still for it. Well, she'd just finished heat about a week before they bought her (which I told them) so I have to wonder if she was in heat when they were trying to breed her. She's always very regularly and very obviously come into heat so I'm not sure why they're having problems. They tried artificial insemination twice and it didn't take so the woman is frustrated. Also, even though the daugher is riding her the woman doesn't feel she's safe on the ground with Wanda and they don't have the time to work with her. Sounds to me like someone who's ready to sell a horse back, yes?

No. She's so sweet and she's the first to come when called and she's just so lovely under saddle. Yes, I'm sure she is right now-she's out of shape and not in terrible pain yet.

I called and said that I was sorry it wasn't working out and I'd be happy to take her back at her original sale price. Her new owner declined saying she needs to recoup the money she's invested in vet bills and breeding fees. Now, I totally understand this idea but I don't think it's reasonable and I'm undertandably concerned about what the hell is happening to this mare. I did reiterate that her back problem is arthritis in the withers and will never be "healed". I also re-clarified that the vets said with a year off she might be sound for some light riding. She said she hadn't realized this. I did my best to explain this at the time of sale and I really thought I'd done a good job. I told them all about her quirks and her medical status. Sigh. Sadly, I cannot afford to buy her back at the new price. I told her that if she changed her mind to let me know. And that if anyone had any questions about her medical treatments to call me.

Internet, I feel so badly for my mare and I'm so afraid she's going to be sold without them telling anyone about her back. And the worst of it is that I can't fix it. I can't change what they tell or don't tell people. It's hard. I really thought I'd found her this tremendous home and I feel really let down.